Silence Remains
by SereneCalamity
Summary: The quiet doesn't mean what it once did to Clarke. Bellarke. OneShot.


_I'm so in love with this couple, and I absolutely love this song._ _It's_ Silence Remains _by 3 Doors Down. You guys should all go have a listen._

 _Disclaimer : I very unfortunately do not own any of the characters :(_

 _This world asks for so much  
_ _Despite what you give, it's just never enough  
_ _Then you're left cold, tired and alone  
_ _Searchingfor something that's already gone  
_ _You try not to be afraid  
_ _Bound by all these things that they say  
_ _And you feel like you're all by yourself  
_ _But I'll be right here when there's nothing else_

 _Lay down  
_ _Rest here in peace in my arms now  
_ _Knowing you're safe  
_ _From the storms and the rain  
_ _And from all of your pain  
_ _And I'll be here  
_ _When only the silence remains  
_ _She was slowly breaking_

It wasn't obvious, it wasn't something that just anyone was going to pick up on.

But he could see it.

He could see her starting to crumble under the weight on her shoulders.

She had kept strong for so long already, her resolve never wavering, he had no idea how she did it.

It had started the first day they have crashed down here on Earth; and he definitely hadn't helped.

Then Atom.

And then it was Wells.

Followed by Charlotte.

Topped off by Finn.

She had held fast through all of that.

Something darkened in her eyes right from the day she had joined in the torture of Lincoln Whittle.

Bellamy Blake couldn't let her fall to pieces in front of everyone, but on days like this, when they had lost two more of their original one hundred, he knew that she was getting close to a breaking point. John Murphy and Nathan Miller were being difficult, like they always were. Just because Bellamy was working alongside Clarke Griffin as an equal, that didn't mean they agreed on things—in fact they barely agreed on anything, and that was clear when it came to the rest in the camp. So most of the people who had sworn allegiance to Bellamy in the beginning still gave Clarke a hard time. Bellamy usually didn't mind it; he liked the fact that there were people in the camp with spirit and fight, and he had to admit, he also liked it when Clarke got fired up and annoyed at them. She got these red spots on her cheeks and this glow in her eyes.

But today wasn't one of those days.

"Oi!" Bellamy growled, coming over to where Clarke was facing off again Murphy and Miller, her shoulders hunched as she faced them. "Cut this shit. Just get on guard duty." Murphy looked like he was going to argue, but Bellamy fixed him with an hard stare and he relented, shrugging his shoulders and turning around to walk off with Miller. "You okay?" Bellamy asked, glancing sideways at Clarke.

"Whatever," she muttered, not even looking up at him as she turned around and trudged off. Her shoulders were slumped and her hair was a tangled mess in front of her face as she walked back to the drop ship. Bellamy watched her go, his fingers clenching at his side as he watched her go, but instead of following after her, he joined Octavia Blake, where she was helping to sort through the meat strips they were dehydrating.

"You know what's up with Clarke?" He asked her, helping her to shuffle the meat over the fire.

"Why? She mad at you again?" There was a slight smile on Octavia's face as she looked over at her brother. "Pretty sure that's normal."

"Something's up with her," he mused, ignoring the jab. Octavia shrugged and swiped at the hair that was falling in front of her face with the back of her hand.

"Ask her then," she suggested.

"Yeah, because I'm the Princess's favorite person to talk to," Bellamy snorted.

"Well, yeah, kinda," Octavia shrugged again. "I mean, she acts like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. So do you. You got that in common." Bellamy rolled his eyes and she grinned up at him. Despite disagreeing with what she had said, he decided to take her up on the suggestion. Not right now, but maybe in a few hours, when the camp was calmed down from the daily bustle and maybe Clarke would be in a better mood for a conversation.

Everyone had come back from the days hunt as she sun was beginning to sink in the sky, probably sometime around six. For the past couple of days, Monty Green and Jasper Jordan had been cooking up some moonshine, and the group of teenagers were impatient for what they had prepared.

Bellamy had ordered Finn Collins to relieve Murphy from guard duty, partly because he knew that Murphy had been on guard duty the last time the camp had been let loose with the moonshine and having fun, but mainly because Bellamy just plain _hated_ Finn. The younger boy obviously knew that as he grumbled under his breath as he past Bellamy on his way out of the fence. He had a couple of mouthfuls of moonshine when it was being passed around, and then winced as it burned down his throat.

Those boys really didn't do anything halfway.

He had always been good at handling alcohol, and he had only gotten better since being down there—wanting to be able to join in the drinking with everyone else while still needing to keep his head level with his role as a leader. But tonight he needed his head clear, as he scanned everyone who was sitting or standing around the fire. Some people were missing, but they were the type of people that he knew were getting it on with each other in the privacy of their tents or behind the drop ship. But there was a person who was missing who he knew wouldn't be keeping someone company in a tent.

Clarke.

He muttered to Murphy to keep an eye on things and then headed toward the drop ship. He realized that he hadn't actually seen her since earlier when she had disappeared into the ship and that worried him. He was usually hyper-aware when it came to Clarke, and if she had been around, he would have seen her.

"Clarke?" He called as he pushed open the makeshift curtains. "Clarke, you in here?"

"Yeah, up here," came a quiet voice that he would never have heard if he was listening so carefully. Bellamy looked up and saw the hatch open. He swung his gun around, so that it was resting against his back rather than his front, and climbed up the ladder. As he scanned the upper part of the drop ship, it took his a second to adjust to the darkness and to seek out the blonde. She was sitting in the corner, a blanket wrapped around her, her legs pulled up to her chest and her chin resting on her knees.

"What are you doing up here?" Bellamy asked. "Have you even had anything for dinner?"

"I'm fine," she murmured in reply, blinking slowly at him.

"Clarke," Bellamy shifted his stance uneasily as he looked down at her. "What's going on?" She didn't say anything and Bellamy swallowed hard as he glanced around the top floor of the drop ship, wondering what he could say to coax her out of her sudden shell. He lifted the band that was hooked over his shoulder, and put the gun down on the ground gently, sitting down next to Clarke, putting a couple of inches between them, but close enough that he could feel her heat.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice barely audible.

"You're my girl, Clarke. I gotta know what's going on," the words came out before he could stop them.

"Your girl?" Clarke raised an eyebrow at him and there was a glint of the snark in her eye that he loved. Bellamy gave her a lopsided smirk and tilted his head back against the cold wall of the ship.

"Yeah, my girl," he repeated, his voice a little lighter now. "You know, my co-leader, the angel on my shoulder, my sanity in this crazy place—you get the picture." Clarke nodded and gave him a flash of a clearly fake smile but then dropped her head back down so that her chin was on her knees. Bellamy dropped the smile and the teasing lilt in his voice. "You know I care about you, Clarke. So talk to me—"

"Do you remember how quiet it could get on the Ark?" She suddenly interrupted, turning her head so that her head was still resting on her drawn up knees but facing him now. "I mean, it got super quiet at night, when everyone was in the rooms, but when you were in the prison cells...It could get so quiet that you could just hear yourself breathing." She traced her tongue along her upper lip and took in a deep breath. "I mean, I didn't like being in prison or anything," she let out a short laugh. "But I liked being alone, and having silence— _safe_ silence."

"Safe silence?" Bellamy looked over at her, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Yeah, safe silence," Clarke repeated with a firm nod. "I loved silence. It let me think, and it let me draw—"

"You draw?"

"I used to," she said. "But if anything is even _close_ to quiet around here, it means something is wrong. It means that we're hiding from something, or that we're getting ready to fight, or we've eaten poisonous berries again and people are passing out," she rolled her eyes. "There's no silence that's _safe_. And I miss that." She rubbed her hands up and down her legs. "I think that's what I miss the most."

"Even more than jaffa chocolate?" Bellamy asked, the teasing tone back, remembering a conversation they had had a couple of weeks ago.

"Even more than jaffa chocolate," Clarke confirmed, her voice serious but a slight upward tilt on her pretty pink lips. They fell quiet for a few minutes, and Bellamy listened. He could hear laughing and chatter coming from outside and he understood what she meant. To be completely honest, he was the opposite. When they were up at the Ark, and Octavia was out in the room, she was always laughing and talking and bumping into things, given how clumsy she was. There was only ever quiet when she had to hide under the floor boards, and that had always been tense and dangerous time for them. He liked noise. It was comforting.

"You know there's two kinds of silences, right?" Bellamy began. "There's silence when it's quiet, and then there's silence when you're mind is quiet." Clarke's eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke. Without even really thinking, he picked up his hand from where it was laying on the ground and reached out to touch her face. His fingers brushed over her cheekbone before twisting a strand of blonde hair around his forefinger. Clarke's eyes widened at the action, but her expression quickly relaxed as he tucked it behind her ear and then put two fingers under her chin. "Well, I can give you that second kind of silence."

"Since when are you nice to me?" Clarke asked, looking almost worried to know the answer.

"Come on, Clarke," Bellamy gave her a half smile. "We might argue all the time, but at the end of the day, we both want the same thing. We want everyone to be safe. We just disagree a little on how we're going to get there."

"A little," Clarke snorted lightly.

"But don't think for one second that you're not the most important person in this camp to me, other than Octavia," he told her, the smile from his face gone now and his eyes glued to hers, _needing_ her to understand that what he was saying was true. "You're annoying and stubborn as shit..." he tilted his head to the side and gave a one shouldered shrug. "But you're my girl." Clarke's chin quivered slightly and he felt her swallow hard as he shifted her hand from under her chin to cup her face.

"I like that," she said to him softly, a small smile appearing on her face, her eyes lightening.

"That's what I'm here for," Bellamy touched his thumb to the corner of her mouth. "To make you smile." Clarke suddenly leaned forward and kissed him. Bellamy blinked in surprise, his hand falling from her face. When she pulled, she looked nervous. "Do that again," he whispered, pulling her back into him and kissing her properly this time. It was a slow, open-mouthed kiss that made her spine tingle all the way down. When they pulled away from each other, both were breathing heavily and there was a small smile on Clarke's face.

"I can feel it," she mumbled.

"Feel what?" He murmured back.

"The silence," she whispered. Bellamy smiled and cupped her face with his hands.

"Whenever you need it, Princess."

 _Corny as shit ending, I know. But I hope you guys liked it :)_


End file.
